


Poison

by goldtoashes, heirsofbrokenlegacies (jarofhearts)



Series: Discord [9]
Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angband, First Age, Humiliation, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mairon has a friend, Melkor’s growing madness and paranoia, Possessive Melkor, Strategy & Tactics, Violence, and a new thorn in his side, power addiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:21:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22104013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldtoashes/pseuds/goldtoashes, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jarofhearts/pseuds/heirsofbrokenlegacies
Summary: Mairon takes Tol Sirion and hopes to put some distance between himself and Melkor. His master, of course, doesn’t make that easy for him.
Relationships: Fingon | Findekáno/Maedhros | Maitimo (mentioned), Morgoth Bauglir | Melkor/Sauron | Mairon
Series: Discord [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1537228
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	Poison

**Author's Note:**

> Yep, we decided to make Tevildo his own person. You can't be a cat and a wolf guy at the same time. ;-) So here Tevildo is a Maia formerly of Yavanna with similar duties, but an inferior rank to Mairon who would love to have Mairon's job. Inspired by [this picture](https://www.deviantart.com/kimberly80/art/Tevildo-Prince-of-Cats-659371890) from Kimberly80

"How much longer is he going to keep us waiting?" 

Her large black wings were folding and unfolding with a gentle rustling, a clear indicator of her growing irritation. You gave her a long look. Her impatience was understandable and you might have shared it, if not for the fact that you had expected nothing else when returning here. 

“As long as he pleases.” 

You had meant to say it flatly, without emotion, but could not help the note of cynicism in your voice.

By the Void, you did not want to be here. You used to be proud of this place, this mighty fortress that you had designed yourself, of the decades of planning that had gone into its architecture and the construction of its armouries, workshops and battlements. But now it only filled you with a sense of black loathing.

Her dark, disconcerting eyes settled on you.

“The tower should be held at all cost. Now that Fëanor’s spawns have retaken the pass in the east and hinder any sorties through that route, we need to hold a clear path in the west at least.”

“I know. So does he,” you said with a sigh, rubbing the bridge of your nose. At least you  _ hoped  _ that he knew, but these days, you were not sure about that. It was absurd that you should be this nervous, you had gained an important strategic victory when capturing Tol Sirion with minimal losses, after all.

As a replied, you heard only a soft sound from her, a release of breath that seemed somewhere between a huff and a hiss. But she did not speak again, and only moments later, the door was pushed open to the ray of brilliant light that heralded your master ever since his return from Valinor.

Despite the Silmarils on his brow, he was towering and dark as ever, yet the events of the battle and specifically his duel with Fingolfin have left their marks on him. Mighty talons had left ugly scars on his face, and as he walked in, there was a slight limp to his step from when the elf’s blade had pierced his heel.

In his shadow, a great cat black as night strode in, yellow eyes glinting in the light, and you had to suppress a glare at the sight. The last one you needed here was Tevildo, that little lickspit that Melkor had made your  _ deputy.  _

You had no say in this in any case, and thus chose to ignore his presence for now. As you knelt down, you saw from the corner of your eye that Thuringwethil did the same.

“My Lord, you wished me to return to Angband to speak with me in person. Here I am.”

“Indeed.” His gaze made your skin crawl, his eyes that lingered on you as though they wanted to pierce your very core. But the flick of his hand came eventually, prompting you both to get back to your feet. “I require a detailed report on the situation at the pass, the movements of our enemies and the whereabouts of Finrod's nephew.”

"Certainly. You'll receive my written report as soon as possible.”  _ Not that you’ll read it,  _ you added in your mind. You gave a brief nod to Thuringwethil, who produced two pieces of cloth, white and gold with the emblem of the house of Finarfin and the harp on dark green, Finrod Felagund’s symbol. Once having fluttered proudly on top of the beautiful fortress Minas Tirith, they were now torn and dirty as she put them before your master’s feet.

“In brief, we have secured full control over the pass,” you continued as matter-of-factly as it was possible with Melkor scrutinizing you like that, searching his dark eyes for any sign of satisfaction. “We struck hard and fast as planned, so there were few casualties during the attack and thus the tower is fully manned. I have protected the fortress with several spells before I left and established regular patrols within the pass and lookouts watching the entrance, so we will know in advance, should the elves regroup and plan to retake the pass.” You hesitated for a moment, but decided to add your assessment of the situation nevertheless. “I don’t think this is likely, though, my Lord. The surviving bunch of elves, including Orodreth, have retreated into Talath Dirnen. I had them followed but they managed to shake off the spies close to the river Narog, so my guess is that he is hiding with his uncle in Nargothrond right now.”

He listened to you and took in everything you said, you could see it in his face, dispassionate though it was. “Excellent,” he said once you were done, the talon scars throwing his face into sharp relief. He seemed calm, composed even, yet you knew to be wary of that furtive look in his eyes. “If the pass is fully secured, there was no need for you to remain any longer in the first place, was there.”

“I left as soon as I felt it was reasonable, my Lord” you replied evasively, which was not entirely true. Because it never felt reasonable for you to be near him these days. Not at all.

You could see from the corner of your eye how the dark shadow by his heel shifted, gave itself a new form. For no other reason than to say what he did next, you were sure.

“And the Noldo got away?”

“That is what I just said, Tevildo,” you replied, deceptively mild, yet giving the black-haired Maia with the reddish, staring eyes a condescending look. “Not that I owe you an explanation, but the primary aim of the mission was to secure the Pass of Sirion. I would have risked the entire endeavour, had I ordered my troops to engage in a mindless chase after some minor Noldo prince right into territory we haven’t been to in centuries.”

Tevildo gave you a disparaging look. “And how many chances do you think we will have that are as promising in finding where Finrod is hiding? Nargothrond is a dangerous wild card, and we need to find its location.”

You seriously started wondering whether Melkor had brought Tevildo for the sole purpose of annoying you.

“And we will. Now that we control the pass, we have direct access from Angband to all of Western Beleriand. Once our troops are raiding the area, it is a matter of time until we stumble upon some elf who is not willing to suffer for the secrets of his lord.” You took a deep breath, deciding to change the topic. “In any case, as I repeatedly said before, our largest concern should be Hithlum, not Nargothrond. Or Hithlum and Himring, to be more precise, now that there is a new High King in charge. Maedhros might not have been eager to fight for King Fingolfin, but he will for Fingon. And his brothers will follow him.”

This time, what you received was a light huff from the other Maia. “You and your obsession with that elf. Forget about Himring. We have our entry into Beleriand, and we have burned through more than enough troops already trying to take it.”

“We have, and the orcs are scared witless because of it,” Thuringwethil spoke up now for the first time in this discussion. “Nevertheless, it would be folly to let Fëanor’s brood do as they please in the east. They have retaken the eastern pass, and like this, the Gap and Thargelion are more of a bother than they’re worth with the river cutting us off as well.”

“I agree with Tevildo in one point, though,” you said lightly, pretending not to notice his comment about Maitimo. “I wouldn’t waste more of our troops running up against Himring. But once we manage to take the passes through the Ered Wethrin, Hithlum is much harder to defend. If we take their heartland and kill their High King, I daresay the Noldor will not recover easily from that blow.  _ Especially  _ not Maedhros. He’ll be devastated about the loss of his lover.”

Since you still kept Tevildo in your sight from the corner of your eye, you caught the look of surprise that flickered over his expression. Only for the fraction of a moment - but it was enough to tell you that this specific piece of information was news to him.

An assumption of yours of course, still, but pieced together over so many bigger and smaller bits of evidence that you had been confident enough in its accuracy that you had brought it to Melkor, and for him to confirm the possibility of it from his time spent in Valinor among the elves.

You turned your attention back to Melkor, who had been disconcertingly quiet the entire time, following the disagreement between you and Tevildo without interrupting.

“My Lord, back to the matters at hand. I would like to see the Pass of Sirion guarded as well as it can be, given its crucial importance to any plans that we might wish to pursue. And if you wish to gather intelligence on Nargothrond at the same time, it might be the best choice if you let me return there and hold the pass for you.”

Melkor considered you, let his silence hang for a moment longer before saying, "I was going to send Tevildo there to oversee matters so you can return to your actual duties."

You nearly gritted your teeth but reminded yourself to stay calm. You knew exactly why Melkor would like you to stay here, tightly within his grasp and available for whatever cruel game he might fancy. 

“It is your decision, of course. But the fact that the siege is broken makes my constant presence in Angband less necessary. And you know I have other means at my disposal that allow me to hold the Pass securely, binding much fewer troops there than Tevildo or anyone else would need.”

“You are not the only one with  _ tricks _ ,” Tevildo was the one to reply, his red eyes narrowed subtly at you.

“This isn’t about tricks, it is about power,” you replied sharply, yet focussing on Melkor instead of Tevildo. “You don’t stop those Noldor princes with  _ tricks,  _ unless you severely underestimate them.”

“I agree,” Melkor said, to your surprise, but his voice was too pleasant and his eyes never left you. “Though isn’t the true question: Do you still have enough power?”

“I’m not worn out yet,” you replied warily, even though the mere words were enough to stir the hunger deep inside you and send an uncalled-for tingle over your skin. You were determined not to let it show even though you both knew that you wouldn’t -  _ couldn’t _ \- refuse if he offered.

"Is that so." Melkor's stare was disconcerting, something entirely too predatory in his eyes. You knew that look, knew it too well. "You have been burning through more and more recently, have you not?"

“I have merely attended to my duties, my Lord,” you shrugged evasively, but you could see -  _ feel _ it, even - that your answer did not impress him.

When did it ever anymore though?

There was a small sneer on his face when he replied, "Is that all? We both know you can ask for more in a much more compelling manner."

You gritted your teeth and lowered your gaze. The memory of how, after more times than you cared to recount, he had eventually made you beg for just a little more, the desperate echo of your broken, pleading voice was still fresh in your mind. How you had cared about little more than that delicious fire rushing through your blood, all while he had carelessly been breaking and bruising your fana and had laughed at your impotence. And he remembered it too, you could see it in the glitter in his eyes that made your anger stir once again and you glared back at him. 

_ If you’ll make me beg for it, at least send  _ **_them_ ** _ out of the room first. _

Maybe you had just given him everything he had wanted, you could not help thinking when he saw that familiar cruel smile on his lips. The the tingle turned into something sharp and cold when he quietly said, “Come to me, Fairest.”

You nearly winced at that hateful endearment, but more so, the fact that he had just disregarded your request to send Tevildo and Thuringwethil out for whatever kind of game he was playing filled you with a cold sense of dread. Yet you knew from painful experience that blatantly ignoring his command would do you no good and so you walked over to him, slowly and irrationally glad you were still clad in armour. Even though it wouldn’t protect you from anything, the weight was somehow reassuring. 

And true enough, it did nothing to keep him from backhanding you hard across the face once you stopped before him, his voice sharp and snide in your ears that were ringing.

“You're not half as clever or subtle as you think you are,  _ Admirable _ .”

There had been a time when you would have tried to apologize right now. But that had been the time when he would not have struck you without reason, least of all in front of your subordinates. Most importantly, a time when you had not yet been aware of how he  _ delighted  _ in such sick little games.

Since you were now, you didn’t say anything, although every fibre of your body was radiating hostility. 

Not that he cared. His large hand reached for you again, but this time to cup your face in a mockingly gentle touch, his thumb brushing over the corner of your mouth. His dark eyes seemed like pits to you.

_ But go ahead. Run to that island you claimed. If you can tell yourself for a while that it will get you far enough away. You will still be here when I want you _ .

_ Leave me be.  _ You were radiating denial and yet… his touch was like lightning on your skin, prickling, taunting, and you felt the darkest parts of your being yearning for the promise within that touch. And as every time, you felt it slowly creeping inside your mind, breaking down your will and erasing any other thought than that you needed him, wanted him to - Just like that voice in your mind was whispering -

_ You would only come crawling back even if I did. _

And of course you felt it then, only a tingle at first, that maddening, intoxicating allure entering your very being, tendrils of heat, darkness and flame,  _ power _ . Without a conscious decision, you felt yourself lunging for it, desperately, greedily, your mind eagerly opening up to the very connection that was so very hateful to you these days. And while the stronger part of your being revelled in that glorious feeling of pure, liquid ecstasy rushing through your veins, another part hissed in impotent humiliation.

How you  _ despised _ him.

How you despised yourself  _ more _ .

And what made it all worse was that you could feel how it amused him, how much he gloated over this - to know that he was right. That he could do this with you.

That he could do  _ anything  _ to you.

It ended eventually, abruptly. He simply cut you off and a shove sent you reeling away from him at the suddenness of it all. You might have fallen, had not a swift hand grasped your arm and kept you on your feet. You caught a quick glance of Thuringwethil’s dark, horrified eyes, but quickly looked away as you straightened yourself to glare at Melkor.

_ You couldn’t even leave me my victory, could you? _

_ Oh, you have your victory. _ He watched you with his head tilted, soaking up all your loathing.  _ You can even keep your tower - and your armor on. _

_ That’s not what I meant and you know it. _

There was so much bitterness in you, so much hatred, and once upon a time, you never thought this could have happened. That it could get this far.

But here you were, watching how he merely raised his eyebrows at you.

“So it is settled,” he said, eyes never leaving you. “You go back and hold the Pass. Tevildo, you will keep assisting me here. We need to make plans for dear Maedhros and his human friends.”

“Yes, my Lord,” Tevildo replied, though he, too, was not looking away from you. His expression wasn’t easy to read, but you thought he might be satisfied as much as disturbed.

“Sounds splendid,” you heard yourself say in a sarcastic tone, your eyes falling on your rival for a moment. “Do enjoy yourself, Tevildo.”

The other Maia gave you the hint of a smile that was more a sneer than anything else.

“You find a way to get into Hithlum and kill that High King then. I’ll find a knife to stick into your little elfling’s back.”

Your anger flared up in a heartbeat, your voice a low growl. “Do not presume to try and command me.”

“You already have your commands,” Melkor interfered, an impatient tone in his voice, before Tevildo even had the chance to reply. With a flick of his hand, he turned away. “I expect regular reports.”

You were given no time for an answer either before he left, and Tevildo only stayed long enough to shift back into a great black cat and slink away in Melkor’s shadow.

Thuringwethil’s wings rustled beside you.

You exhaled slowly and closed your eyes for just a moment. 

“Well, you heard him. We’re heading back.”

When you opened your eyes again to look at her, her own were still fixed on the door Melkor and Tevildo had left through, her fangs exposed. But she turned towards you then and bowed gracefully, effortlessly, before straightening and meeting your eyes, head held high.

“To more breathable air.”

It did make the corner of your mouth twitch, if only for a moment. 

“Indeed.”

You knew that the air would quite literally feel more breathable only moments after you would leave Angband, soaring high up into the night sky and over the dusty plains of Anfauglith, leaving the smokes and smells of the fortress behind. Yet it would take longer, much longer until the fresh sense of humiliation and anger would fade into memory. 

You had tried to convince yourself that it would be better once you were away from Angband. But you could still feel his power, feel  _ him _ , within every fibre of your body, a dark, sticky burn poisoning your veins that filled you with utter delight and disgust in equal measure, the cruel whispers that told you how much you’d been deluding yourself.

_ You’ll still be here when I want you… because you’re mine, Fairest. _

And there was really no distance far enough that could bring you away from that.


End file.
